On the election and people who think differently...

     It is a well kept secret that in one week wee will have elected a new president. Like many Americans, I have a clear preference as to whom I would like to see be our next president. Also, like many Americans, it is difficult for me to understand how a thoughtful person could support the opposing candidate. Let me be clear, this is more than just a preference. I find one of the candidates loathsome. I do not think either candidate is perfect, but one is so unbelievably flawed that it defies credulity that they even appear on the ballot. I have studied history my entire life, and I can say w/ confidence, we have never run a candidate so uniquely unfit to be president. My feelings have actually become stronger as election day draws near and the rhetoric becomes ratcheted even higher.

Yet, half the country sees things very differently It has become more difficult to be curious about why other people think differently than me; and easier for me to simply demonize the other side as either being malicious or ignorant. I have even had conversations with family and friends about simply writing off those who see this election very differently than do I-cutting them out of my life completely. I see this argument. It feels so righteous. There is not a lot I feel this strongly about, but I know I am right about this election. And, if I am right, others must be wrong.

Ultimately, though, this view is not helpful. Demonizing the other side feels so good psychologically. It feels good to be righteous. It feels good not to have to do the hard work of understanding why people think differently than you-to simply write them off as deficient human beings. I was almost in this place. I was then, however, reminded of the story of Nelson Mandela. If there ever were a person who cause to feel righteous, it was Mandela. He could not understand how the Boers could be so cruel. He could have easily written them off as deficient in character. While in prison, however, he studied Afrikaans-the language of his oppressors. He studied Boer history. He recognized that if he wanted to see change, he need to understand them. While he hated their actions, he chose not to hate them.

I recently had the opportunity to hear Hillary Clinton speak. She reflected that the thoughtful person can (and should at times) hold several, seemingly opposed things, to be true. One of the candidates in singularly unqualified to be president. And yet, there are many good people who support this candidate. To judge others who think very differently is not helpful. Moreover, it gets us further from the world in which I want to live. If I demonize people who think differently, I am part of the problem-no matter how repugnant I find those views. Interestingly, during this same talk, Secretary Clinton doubled down on her "basket of deplorables" description for Trump supporters. As much as I respect Sec Clinton, this is not helpful. It actually makes things worse.

Ultimately, this is both a confession and a plea. I am like many Americans-finding this election difficult for many reasons. I, as much as I don't want to admit it, am like most people in that I have my emotions triggered by monetizing political rage. I get it. I think the stakes of this election is very high. It is likely that someone who I think is unqualified and dangerous will become president. And, as much as I may want to, I need to recognize that demonizing those who feel differently is not helpful. Most people, the vast majority, are good, decent people who generally want a just world. It is incommbent on all of us to be, as Walt Whitman (and Ted Lasso) tell us "be curious, not judgmental".

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